You have three basic choices in life: give up, give in, or give it everything you've got.
I choose the third every day when I wake, because I know the outcomes and end goals are achievable. I've been setting and achieving goals since I first left home as a 15-year-old, with a focus and drive that has guided me through life ever since. So how do we build this mindset? How do we stay focused, and make choices that might hurt in the beginning but strengthen us in the end? Let's take a look.
Pick achievable goals
Everyone needs long and short-term goals — otherwise life can feel like being in a room filled with fog, with no doorway in sight. Goals give us direction: a place to start, something to work on, and a destination. Everyone needs a sense of purpose beyond being a parent, partner or employee — something that gives you a reason to wake and work toward each day. Start with a short-term goal. For example, I wanted to do more motivational talks and seminars, so I dedicated time each week to reaching out to people who might help make that happen — and, over time, it started to become a reality. The effort and work you put in reflects directly in how achievable your goals become.
All fires start with an ember
You don't need all the drive and determination right now to make a change — if you're reading this, it means you're already searching for one, and that's a smouldering ember in itself. It's okay to feel self-doubt, as long as that small part of you is still there. So we nurture it, and build on it. Ask yourself: do I have the want and desire to keep going and build a better life? If you can feel the answer, that's all the starting point you need.
Make it a reality
Once you've decided it's time to get up and get on with life, pick your battles wisely rather than trying to tackle every problem at once. Before running full steam at your goals, it helps to clear away anything dragging you down — negative people, a relationship pulling you down, or anyone who constantly tells you that you can't. Remember: happiness comes by change, not by chance, and if what you've been doing hasn't worked, it's time to try something different. Take that first step — apply for the new position, talk to the people you want in your life, and put a plan in place to make your goals a reality.
Slow and steady wins the race
Rome wasn't built in a day, which is why short-term, realistic goals matter. Don't expect your whole world to change in a week. Life has its twists and turns, and change takes time to catch up with your mind, especially if you've been finding things hard for a while. Do something small each day that you can be thankful for, and enjoy the fighting spirit you've given yourself.
You have a starting point, a plan, and you've made a start today — that's something to feel proud of. I've never given up on anything I've set my mind to, and it's taken me exactly where I want to be. I was once where you are now, feeling like I had no fight left, but a small ember can turn into a flame, and a flame can become a fire that nothing can put out.
