Many people live with anxiety — some cope, some manage to survive, and for some it becomes a real drain on every relationship they have. Loved ones, friends and family often try to support and be there, but without understanding what's actually going on, it can sometimes make things harder rather than easier. If someone you love struggles with anxiety, here are five things worth understanding.
Anxiety can be physical, mental and emotional
Anxiety doesn't just affect a person's emotions — it also shows up as physical symptoms such as a racing heart, tightness in the chest, an unsettled stomach and increased perspiration. These physical symptoms are real, not "all in the head", and they can escalate quickly into a full anxiety attack. One powerful way to help is simply taking their hand and guiding their breathing in line with yours for a few minutes, letting them know you're right there and you won't let go. Think about what you'd need if it were you, and be that person — be open, be present, and let them know you have them, no matter what.
Low mood can come with it
It's common for depression to develop alongside anxiety after a long period of daily struggle with your own thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Living with anxiety day after day is genuinely exhausting — imagine a thought that makes you feel bad, then multiply that by ten, and that's closer to an average day for someone dealing with anxiety. Patience, love, understanding and simply being the person they need matters far more than impatience or frustration.
They may need time alone
Anxiety can make someone feel paranoid or worried about what others think, so they may not want to go out or attend a social event. Forcing the issue, or making them feel they have to go, can fill them with fear that lasts for days or weeks beforehand. Try asking rather than assuming, and make it clear it's okay if they don't feel up to it. Anxiety can also turn someone into a people-pleaser who doesn't want to say no, even when saying yes will make things harder for them — so try to avoid putting them in that position in the first place.
Anxiety usually isn't about attention
In fact, it's often the opposite — most people with anxiety would rather not be noticed at all, and try to avoid new or social situations where they might stand out. Give them your attention anyway: show them you're with them, that you understand and care, and don't let them fade into the background. That kind of support tends to be repaid many times over, even if not straight away.
It doesn't make someone weak
Far from it. It takes real effort just to get up and function on a hard day. Anxiety doesn't discriminate by age, gender, race or background, which is part of why so many public figures and professionals talk about it openly. Look at the person you love and see what they actually have: strength, compassion and determination, because weakness is the last word that fits.
Living with someone who has anxiety can be difficult, but understanding it, and showing love, care and support, makes the road so much easier to walk together.
