Social media and the internet have changed the way we interact. For people with friends and family in different places, it's one of the best ways to stay in touch, see each other, and show love and support — but it comes at a price, and for those who suffer from anxiety, that price can be a heavy one.
Today's world is full of people who hide behind a keyboard, and it's often the only way they can make themselves feel good by hurting others. Acts of intimidation and bullying are rarely about the victim — they're about the person doing it. They need to feel validated or powerful, and they often fail to see the impact of what they post. So how do we combat it?
It's a criminal offence, and the law is on your side
If you feel you're a victim of harassment or bullying online, there's some good news: under UK law, internet harassment — sometimes called cyberbullying — is a criminal offence. Anything posted online with the intent to harass, threaten or maliciously embarrass someone is a chargeable offence, including third-party harassment. To prove it, though, you need evidence — screenshots are a good way to capture what's been said. Entering into a conversation with the person responsible rarely helps, since it's really about them, not you. Screenshot it, save it, and take it to your local police, and they'll deal with it for you.
Block, delete, ignore
The quickest way to stop this kind of behaviour is to block, delete and ignore. That's easy once it's been done to you, but the harder part is dealing with the anxiety these comments leave behind. Not everyone will agree with your outlook, and not everyone will like you — and as someone with anxiety, that can be hard to hear when you're used to trying to please people. Try flipping it: be glad that not everyone likes you. Liking someone, or being liked by them, usually depends on shared interest or common ground — so ask yourself whether you'd actually want someone like an online troll to like you. The answer should be a clear no.
No one ever died from deleting social media
If people are aiming comments at you, deliberately or otherwise, you have a choice: keep being hurt by it, or act. One way of acting is to delete the platforms causing the problem — but screenshot and report first, before you go. Simply ignoring it lets it continue unchallenged.
Ask yourself if it's triggering you
Does the thought of checking social media send you into a spin? Does that heavy, churning feeling get stronger the more you check? If so, it may be time to take a break and focus on yourself. Your healing and recovery will keep being set back if you continue doing something that increases your anxiety. For now, make yourself the priority.
It's rarely the full picture
Many people with anxiety compare themselves to others online, wondering why they can't be as happy as everyone on social media seems to be. Social media is often a long way from reality — most people show only the good parts, rarely what they're actually feeling or going through. Don't fall into the trap of believing everything you see online; it's rarely the full picture of anyone's life.
Not everyone will agree with you, and that's fine
You're not everyone's cup of tea, and that's normal — expect jealousy, envy or disagreement from people with a different point of view. Most people who say unkind things about others online would never say it to their face; they're protected by a screen, and often trying to feel powerful or justified. You're not alone in having people who disagree with what you do or how you do it.
Remember this
People who go out of their way to be hurtful to others are often unhappy in their own lives, and not at ease with who they are. The best response is often simply to recognise that, and be thankful for what you have instead — your partners, family, friends and loved ones. Use empathy to forgive and move forward; don't let others' negativity hold you back. As tomorrow comes, try to embrace the new day rather than carry yesterday's hurt into it.
