It's Valentine's Day, which gives people a chance to share in the joy of love and relationships. But not everyone has found love or is in a relationship, so the question for a lot of people really comes down to this: do we love the day, or hate it?
The honest answer is that we should love it, the same way we love being alive on any other day — the date having a different label to it shouldn't change how we feel. Here's why.
It doesn't matter if you're single, married, in a long-term relationship, or simply not looking. Happiness and joy need to come from within — without self-love, it's hard to properly experience any other kind. If you wake up each day filled with anxiety, self-doubt or uncertainty, it's difficult to say you're truly happy, whatever your relationship status. When we build more self-love, those things tend to fade.
If you're not feeling it this year
Let's try something different. Instead of sitting with the fear of being alone or not having anyone to share your love with, take a moment to think about what you already have in your life to show love to. It could be your children, your parents, family or friends — or, if you have none of that immediately to hand, even a pet.
Too often, people say they wish they'd had more time to show someone how much they loved them. Make that day today. You don't need a partner to feel love or wanted just because it's a particular date on the calendar — reach out to a loved one, a friend or a family member, and simply tell them you love them. Those three words can go a long way when they're said with real feeling behind them. You can also take the day to remind yourself of the love you already have inside you — you don't need flowers or gifts from someone else for that to count.
Don't focus on what you don't have. Focus on what you do. Everyone has something to be grateful for, so use today to notice that, rather than what feels missing.
If you're in love
When true love comes along, you tend to know it from the moment it hits you. If that's where you are, that's something to be genuinely glad about.
It's easy to become complacent in a relationship, taking it for granted and assuming it will simply always be there. Don't let that happen — use today to show your partner exactly what they mean to you. You can go the traditional route with flowers and gifts, or try something a little more personal.
Here's one idea that meant more to me in a past relationship than any gift I've received, before or since, and it doesn't cost anything: a list called "I love you because". Write down, on paper, a handful of genuine, specific reasons you love someone, put it in an envelope, and give it to them whenever feels right. The moment of watching someone read words like that tends to say more than any gift could.
These small moments are often what make a relationship feel worthwhile. Whether you're married or single, however you choose to spend today, do it with as much love as you can muster. Here's a song for everyone this Valentine's Day.
